Chase The Sun
by OutspokenSilence
Summary: Alex/Josh. Being a teenager is too confusing.. -Rated M for possible later chapters.- Request for SPG017 & Kaufmannisawesome2k9.
1. Chapter 1

This was meant to be a one off, but it's probably going to turn into a proper story.

Ah well, it's always nice to have new projects to work on.

* * *

_If Josh cried, it was always Alex's fault. When the younger boy tripped and cut his knee, his brother was scolded for tripping him. When Joshua managed to break his ankle after falling from the tree in the garden, Alex had been a bad influence. Whatever happened to the younger Shepherd sibling, Alex found himself taking the blame. At first he didn't mind, as it was just part of growing up. The eldest child was there purely to irritate the youngest, something which had taken place in families for decades. However, the time came when Alex knew he needed to get away from his brother, and that was when those strange feelings started._

Alex was in the midst of puberty, which his mother found delight in pointing out. For years, the boy's voice had ranged from the sultry to the squeaky, and none of his clothes fitted for more than a few months. His mood swings had become so violent that he was confined to his room until he felt calm enough to sit with the family. Josh was only one who dared enter the room while Alex's hormones were raging wildly,as their parents just didn't seem to care. Their brotherly love couldn't be halted by the older brother's occassional shouting fits or bouts of unwanted tears. Josh seemed to find some sort of cruel delight in tormenting the elder, testing out what comments would manage to strike a nerve. The answer was always any which involved a certain young woman..

"You asked Elle out yet?"

The familiar voice knocked Alex from his hormonal stupor, causing the teen's eyes to flicker open slowly. He had assumed his brother had been sleeping soundly on the bunk below, yet his voice was ringing clearly through the dark. Even before the words had truly sunk in, the older boy felt a familiar surge of anger rising up in him. He only just managed to force it down before he replied, not moving from his spot across the bed. There was no need to snap at the smallest comment but his mind had different ideas.

"What's it to you?" was Alex's grumbled reply, as his gaze shifted over to the clock hanging precariously from the wall. It was past midnight but it was obvious that neither of them had attempted to sleep. They were both stubborn, even more so now they were growing up, and would never sleep when ordered to by their parents. Even when their father barked commands at them from outside the room, after hearing their hushed conversations, they would just feign sleep until he had marched back off to bed. A childish giggle brought him back down to earth, or rather back into the little world the two boys inhabited.

A small creak sounded from below him as Josh turned over, which made Alex feel a little unsettled. One thing that he had grasped from their late-night talks was that when the younger boy moved, he was thinking of a really serious answer. However, these answers weren't always what the older brother wanted to hear. Even though he had been expecting the worst, Alex still found himself making a sharp intake of breath once his brother's next statement reached him.

"She doesn't like you anyway, you're kinda ugly."

That was the final straw, per se. Josh had been irritating him all day with snide little comments and odd jibes, just because he knew he could. Their mother had bent the rules for Joshua ever since he had been old enough to understand them. Never once had Alex been allowed to get away with anything that was not approved by his parents. They watched him like a hawk, especially his father, who treated him more like a cadet than a real son. Sometimes it seemed like they didn't even want him in the house at all.

"Shut up!" Alex hissed as he shifted his positioning. It was with another loud creak of the wooden bed frame than he turned over, leaning over the side to shoot a rather angered look at his brother. The look softened almost as soon as he glanced upon the slender frame of the boy on the mattress. His gaze met the pale skin of his brother's torso, vaguely covered by the sheet their mother had placed on the bed earlier. Alex himself was wearing less clothing than usual, as the summer had started to turn into some sort of headwave, but the sight of his brother's half naked body seemed to alter something inside him. The feeling caused his muscles to tense up, and he rolled back onto the bed before his brother had a chance to glance back up at him. "And put a shirt on!"

As with just about anything, a perfectly innocent question had turned into a full-blown argument between the two boys. One was spurred on by hormones, while the other was acting on pure defiance. Losing a quarrel like this was possibly the worst failure their young minds could come up with, so they often got quite heated. Although Alex knew full well that Elle had a crush on him, she'd told him herself, once an argument was started, it could never be reversed. They would have to battle it out until the end.

"It's too hot! You walk around with no shirt on all the time!"

Alex's immediate reaction would have been a simple 'Well, that's different!' but he stopped himself just in time. It may have been true, but it was a rather pathetic answer. He wanted to win this debate with as little effort as possible, throwing down the ending statement as if it was something all too natural. Talking about the fact that his clothes were all too tight or short was not going to get him anywhere. His brother was making it sound like he walked around in public like that. No, Alex was far too self conscious to even consider the notion.

"At least I have some muscles!".That was a rather immature, and slightly stupid reply. Even if Alex was getting older, his body still looked pretty awkward. For a start, his hands and feet seemed to be growing faster than the rest of his body. His mother would constantly tell him off for being too clumsy, and wandering around the house with no real intention of actually going anywhere, but it wasn't his fault. It felt like he was test-driving a completely new model.

"Nuh-uh, it's just fat!"

He shouldn't really have expected more from his little brother. It had only just started to dawn on him how much of a _kid_ Josh was. The boy on the bunk below him had no idea about what it was like to have crushes, or suffer from those unwanted reactions to anything which was found slightly attractive. Alex most certainly didn't want to be the one to explain those things to him,as he knew the slender boy would just laugh in his face.

"Well-"

His retort was cut off by heavy footsteps on the landing outside the room. The footfalls only could only mean one thing, their father had heard them and was about to scream orders at them from the other side of the wall. In all honesty, both of the boys were a little afraid of Adam Shepherd's wrath, but Joshua usually managed to avoid most of the incriminating yells. This time however, there was no escape. Neither of them knew where their strange little good look movement had come from, but Alex rolled over and reached down. A small hand slapped against his in some sort of weak highfive before the older brother brought his arm back up onto the top bunk.

Their father's barking voice lasted for a minute or so, with Alex shouting back some cheesily pathetic excuses. It brought a smile to his lips, as he heard his little brother holding back laughter while he laid so still on the mattress. Of course, the whole affair was blamed on the older Shepherd sibling, but this time he found it amusing. The two of them waited for their father to storm back off to bed before both falling into muffled hysterics.

It was times like this that Alex was glad he could be a true friend to his little brother, despite the petty fights they had.

* * *

  
I apologise for the fail.

OS


	2. Chapter 2

I'm sorry for the spasmodic and crappy uploads I've been submitting at the moment, but I'm going through a pretty rough patch.

I promise that when it's all over, I'll definately try and get back on track with new chapters for this, Promise and Endless Dream.

Anyway, the chapters of this all go in chronological order, but the time between each can be chosen by you. As in, you decide how long a period you want this to happen over..

Enjoy.

* * *

Alex had never liked getting dressed up. When he was younger, he would have much preferred to be playing in the mud than come inside and get ready for a party. However, this time, he had absolutely no choice. It was some sort of celebration between the Shepherd and Holloway families that the teen really didn't understand. All he knew was that Elle's family were arriving any minute, and his trousers just didn't fit him anymore. Nothing did. His mother had stopped buying him his own clothes a long time ago, and started handing over his father's cast-offs. They were all too big, either length-wise or in width, yet he was not allowed to complain. That was all he had to wear, and that was that.

A few minutes passed, with Alex throwing on his father's clothes in a hurry, before looking distainfully in the mirror at just how swamped he was by the garments. There was nothing even remotely formal about the way the clothing made him look, infact, he just seemed impossibly skinny. Although, that would surely deter his little brother from making any 'fat' jokes at the table, or even before the others arrived. As if he had spurred on some subconcious part of Joshua's mind, the boy finally emerged from the top bunk. Alex had forced him up there, not wanting anyone to see him get dressed. There were too many parts of his body that he wished to keep hidden, even from his younger brother. It didn't matter who it was, the teen was just embarassed. No one had started to explain anything to him yet, and Elle couldn't be any help.

"You look weird."

That was a simple enough statement, and it didn't start off any real reaction in Alex's knew it was true, as neither of them were used to wearing such fancy clothes. The younger brother had been messing with his tie a few minute earlier, pulling on the thing like it was some some sort of offending creature. There was nothing natural about any of this, so the teen was not offended, and just gave a slight shrug. The boys had to do as they were told.

"Whatever." was his marginally disgruntled reply, before they were ordered out of the room by their mother's call from downstairs. If Alex had been given the choice, he would have remained in his room, or just feigned illness. However, his parents were far too strict from him to get away with _anything_. He was apparently 'too old' to argue with them and stayed under their constant scrutiny. This fact was just reimbursed when he reached the bottom of the stairs, almost crashing straight into one of the Holloway children. Elle, to be exact.

Almost as soon as their gazes met, the teen found himself practically forced away from the blonde by his mother. Even if it wasn't meant in a cruel way, Alex still found himself left out of a circle. A conversation sparked up before they even reached the table, one which he could not worm his way in to. It was all about Josh, and other things which the two families found incredibly important. Of course, for Alex, this seemed to go on for minutes, perhaps even hours. After that he was just seemingly scooped up in the group and somehow ended on his seat at the table. It all passed in some sort of blur, and the boy's tired mind didn't want to keep up with it.

The brunet was only old enough to remember one of these events, which had taken place years previously. That had been an enjoyable experience, or so he thought, as all the adults had been doting over him and Elle. It seemed like these meals were just an excuse to show off the youngest members of the family, like some sort of strange competition. Alex didn't want any of it, as he found himself feeling strangely jealous of his brother's popularity with both adults and the children around the town. It was all too unfair that a child of Josh's age could fit in so well with the society, while Alex found himself being pushed away.

There were days when it felt like the eldest Shepherd sibling was an unwanted addition to the town's population, and that he was some sort of pest. The looks that some of adults gave him did not go unnoticed, but Elle had tried to persuade him that it was all in his head. What did she know? People _loved_ her. A sharp kick from under the table made his gaze flicker away from the blonde, and over to his assailant. As expected, it was Josh, but there was no devilish little smile. Infact, there was an altogether sombre feeling spread across the table.

It took far longer than it should have done for Alex to realize that everyone else was ready to say grace. An irritated, hurried, hiss of 'Alex!' from his mother caused his hands to slap together and his gaze to move downwards, as if he was in some sort of trance. Getting either of the Shepherd adults angry was most certainly not a good idea. The teen didn't believe in any of the jargon which spilled from Judge Holloway's mouth during the few seconds that followed, and it was obvious that Josh didn't either. A mumble left the younger brother's lips just to prove this point, and soon all eyes were on Alex.

No one ever blamed the 'baby' of the family.

"Alexander, act your age!" was all his mother had to say on the matter, and it was followed by a childish giggle from the left of him. A rush of heat travelled to his face as his full name was uttered. Adults were just there to be embarassing, that was it. He didn't dare look at Elle in case she was laughing too. His stomach was turning for the next few minutes, his new-found anxiety getting the better of him. There was only one person to blame for that, and he was sat right next to him.

The teen's emotions did a full turn when he noticed the satisfied smile on his brother's lips. That kid really was twisted, taking delight in Alex's torment. From the few lessons that he managed to stay awake for at school, he had learned one thing which had always stayed in his mind. _Treat others as you wish to be treated yourself._ It seemed that right then, as they waited for the food to arrive, was a perfect chance to test this out.

Of course he knew all his little brother's weak spots and pressure points. When they were younger, he had managed to uphold some sort of power over the younger boy, even if it involved numerous fights. One little tweak just above his hip would do it.

Joshua's squeak of pain caused their mother to stand up in a flurry, abandoning all ideas of attempting to eat her food. Nobody else except Elle looked up, the adults just continuing as if nothing had happened. It was a way of blocking things out that Alex would come to understand in later life, but now it just seemed as if nobody cared.

"Adam, take him outside. Now."

They all just got back on with their meals, albeit in a nervous manner, as the teen was roughly pushed from the room.

No one could hear him screaming for help in the basement.

* * *

.....Alex didn't have a happy childhood.

OS.


	3. Chapter 3

Once again, I apologize for the huge gaps between uploads. Exams are really creeping up on me.

Hope you like it.

* * *

Eventually he had just given up.

With shaking footsteps, he had ambled from the basement to the bathroom, before finding his way back to the bedroom. Despite the wounds being clean, they stung as if they had been impregnated with acid, or so Alex thought. That battery acid had ended up on Josh's arm all those years ago, not his, and the boy hadn't stopped crying for hours.

Of course, the teen was to blame for the excessive hospital bill. That was day that his teeth had got all messed up. No one took him to the dentist, he and Elle had just attempted to stem the bleeding with ice and tissues. The blonde had been at a loss of how someone could have lost three teeth by 'tripping up' in their own house. Alex had never thought to tell her the truth, even though they had aged considerably.

The brunet had come to think that the way his parents treated him was normal. For all he knew, Judge Holloway was just as violent with Elle and her sister. Growing up had lead him to believe that adults were the cruellest, and strangest, beings on the planet. It was a little terrifying that he was eventually going to become one of them, and would act just as horribly to the younger people around him. Clutching onto his childish needs was all he could do to stop himself from living in constant fear.

His stumbling travels had lead him back to the bunk bed which he and Josh had shared for years. There was no need to attempted to reach his own bed above him, as his legs were reminiscent of some sort of jelly. Instead, he stopped trying to keep his balance and flopped down on his brother's mattress. Nobody would let him back down to the meal looking like he did. There was no way that 'tripping' could explain such a disgusting mess of scratches and bruises.

Despite how much it hurt though, Alex didn't cry. Perhaps he just felt a little numb by the experience, or it could have been his drive to appear far more masculine than he really was. Sometimes all he ever tried to do was persuade his father that he could be a good son, and deserved just as much praise as the younger Shepherd sibling. His messages went unnoticed, and the brunet found himself blending into the background. Joshua just needed their parent's attention far more, and that was that.

A rather annoying laugh sounded from downstairs, followed by muffled talking. It was obvious that his father had returned the table, judging by the few words he could pick out of the conversations taking place below him. The fact that he wasn't down there was a little bit of a relief. Wounds needed time to heal before the skin could get split again.

What seemed like hours passed, with Alex drifting in and out of a pained sleep. There was nothing else to do in the cavernous room which involved staying still. If the teen moved from his position on the bed, he knew his hands would move to rub at the black eye that was forming, and that would increase the pain tenfold.

He was only awoken by cold hands shaking him out of a stupor. The temperature tickled his skin, causing light goose bumps to appear as he shifted to catch a glimpse of the annoyance. A pair of familiar eyes met his, covered by dark hair. Joshua. No one else would wake him in such a violent manner and not make their presence known in any other way.

The time was not apparent, as all the blinds were drawn, yet his brother's appearance gave him a vague idea. Dark rings around the younger boy's eyes were as good a time-keeper as any well made clock. Although, the almost murderous expression on Josh's face could have given it away instantly, if Alex had moved his head to get a better look.

"Get out of my bed, Alex! You'll stink it up!"

Alex had been expecting something just as childish to escape from his brother's mouth, so his temper stayed at a manageable level. That, and the encounter with his father seemed to have placed some sort of draining tap on his energy. There was no will to turn over, let alone slide out of the bed. His father's jacket had been stripped off him in the scuffle, so his journey to the comfort of the mattress had been a simple one indeed.

"Shut up, sleep on the top bunk. Brat." was the older child's reply, hoping to God that just once his brother would take heed of his words. The grunt which left Joshua's lips told him that his prayers had not been answered, and the child was feeling just as stubborn as ever. More angered shakes followed, along with plenty of annoyed sighs on the younger brother's part, before it all suddenly stopped.

"Y-Your face.."

It seemed like Josh was practically at a loss for words as he stuttered, shaking lightly where he crouched. That was when something highly unexpected happened, although, it was not unwanted. The boy's hands moved to rest on either side of his now seated brother's face, turning his head as though it was some piece of art he was looking upon.

Unusually for Joshua, the look on his face was not one of sick excitement. It was not the same look that the boy got when Alex ended up with scars, or even when the teen had shattered the bone in his leg. No, it was a far more caring sort of stare, one which someone could have expected from a sibling who actually worried for their brother's well-being.

"What happened? It's all messed up."

"I fell, Josh."

Alex couldn't tell his brother the truth. Being so young, the boy still idolised his parents, clinging onto them for constant support. Even if the brunet was terrified of his father, he knew how much feeling so loved meant to Josh. The thoughts of his pain had suddenly been turned to ones of slight respect for his brother, but also ones of worry. He would be in for trouble if Joshua mentioned anything to Adam.

The emotion present in Joshua's eyes didn't last long, before it turned to a deep scowl. It was the familiar look that appeared whenever he just couldn't get his own way. Around their parents it became a childish pout, one which their mother 'couldn't resist' .

"You're stupid."

Hands left his face in a flurry before feet hammered against the rungs of the ladder. Anyone would have thought that the youngest sibling was the one having problems controlling his anger with the amount of noise he was making.

Although, Alex knew it was just because he was worried. Children had no real way of expressing their emotions.

Sometimes it felt like he didn't either.

* * *

  
OS  
x


	4. Chapter 4

Someone gave me the idea (which should have been obvious, d'oh) to add more references to the actual game in here.

So here we are, bug-collecting with the Shepherd kids.

I apologize for the distinct amounts of fail in this chapter, but my fingers are failing me.

Endless Dream next, or maybe some more of Promise.

* * *

Alex had never liked bugs. The way they crawled so delicately over your skin, and the fact that any one of them could be your death just wasn't fascinating or intriguing in the slightest. He wouldn't admit it, but from a young age, the teen had found himself a little afraid of the tiny creatures crawling all over their home and garden.

Miniscule feet tickling his upper arm caused one of the most natural reactions a human possessed. His hand raised itself by its own accord and slapped down heavily on the offending insect. Needless to say, the brunet was far too slow, and ended up just hurting himself in the process. If anyone had seen, they would have called him an idiot, as usual. However, the only other person present was wrapped up in their own little world, catching and pinning down the buzzing insects.

Having to stay out there, in the rain, while Joshua played out his sick little game was not how the teen had envisioned spending his day. In fact, his parents had even given him the choice of going out to the store with Elle. Not wanting to miss such a momentus chance, the brunet had hurriedly got dressed and ready to meet up with the girl. Soon however, his almost joyful bubble had been popped as the younger boy had once again taken control of the proceedings. Apparently, this weather was perfect for the smallest sibling's favorite type of bug.

That was the explanation behind why Alex and Joshua were sat in the middle of the playground while the heavens opened above them. Neither of them had thought as far as to collect their coats from the rack, even though their mother had been determined to make sure that Joshua never got a cold. Ignoring the woman, which the teen knew would bring on consequences, the two of them had run out the house and taken the secret route through the hole in the wall. For the first time in ages, the two of them had sat on the the swings and laughed at their mother's expression and demenor. It felt good.

However, Alex's mood had changed for the worse once more as soon as the rain had started. At first, it had just been a light shower, that the two of them were sure would blow over. They had scrabbled through the mud to catch a couple of less disturbing looking insects and slammed them into the small wooden box, before the teen had decided to give up. The water was now pummeling against his head with such force that it was beginning to feel like somebody's fist. The brunet knew all too well what that felt like, and it suddenly forced him into silence.

Memories like that were best locked away where even he couldn't reach them.

"Come on, Alex, help!" a voice called from somewhere in the distance, its owner obscured by the lashing rain. Alex was at a loss of how his brother could be so cheery,when the rain was nearly knocking him right over. Instead of contemplating this useless fact, the teen stood and practically skidded over to Joshua. The ground was turning into a brown sludge which was threatening to pull them to the ground at any moment, or suck the sandals right off their feet. All the teen wanted to do was get home and sit in front of the fire, but there was no way he could do that.

If he refused to help his 'precious' little brother, there would be his parents' wrath to face as soon as they stepped back through the door. It seemed that Alex had to constantly give up his own comfort and time to look after the younger Shepherd, all because Joshua was his mother's favorite. No matter how much they lied through their teeth about, that was exactly how it was. Joshua Shepherd was the only child that they could ever show any real affection for, but the teen pushed that to the back of his mind. Soon he would be old enough to leave home and they could get rid of him for good.

"What do you want?" he asked through gritted teeth, wrapping his arms around his shaking body in an attempt to stop all of his heat escaping. The insects had decided that they loved this rather horrendous change in weather, and were swarming around the two of them as if circling their prey. With every passing second, Alex was continually resisting the urge to grab Josh's arm and drag him all the way back to their home.

No reply came as the two boys just stared at each other, squinting from the amount of rain that was pummeling their faces. There were an awkward few seconds as Alex couldn't remove his gaze from the rather distressed look on his brother's face, before the reasoning behind it became dreadfully obvious. The boy who had been so excited to run around the mud just a short while before was now gripping onto his own arm like a vice.

Even though the rain was blurring his vision, Alex could tell that tears were rolling from Josh's eyes. Although the teen pretended not to care about the other, this was still a heart-wrenching experience. Deep down, everybody cared for their siblings, no matter how slight that feeling was. No one with any emotions could deny that.

"Josh? Josh, what happened?". His own anger at being dragged out in the rain had suddenly blown away and thoroughly forgotten. Without a second thought, his brotherly instincts had kicked in, and he was stepping closer to the other. Despite losing his sandal to the mud, he took the final step towards the younger boy. If the other wouldn't tell him what was wrong, then how was he meant to help? That was all he wished to do, even though the two boys teased each other constantly.

When Joshua did not reply once more, a troubled frown reached the teen's features. Ignoring the fact that the boy recoiled as he reached forward, Alex lightly tugged Josh's hand off what he assumed was a wound. The sight was not alarming, nor confusing in the slightest. Insect stings were part of everyday life in Shepherd's Glen, but it was obvious that the youngest sibling had never suffered that type of pain. That wasn't unsurprising, as their mother treated the boy as if he was made of porcelain.

"Hey, Josh? You need to let me pull the sting out, okay?" he told the other, speaking in the kindest tone he could muster. Once again, instead of getting any sort of spoken reply, Joshua just bobbed his head in a motion which could have been viewed as a nod. To that, Alex gave a smile, before roughly pushing his soaking wet hair from his eyes. Perhaps there was some grounding behind his father's desire for him to cut his hair shorter.

It took a few attempts to release the small sliver of insect from Joshua's skin, with each failed tug causing a whimper to escape the boys' lips. Every single pained squeak caused an apology to roll from Alex's mouth, before he finally yanked the sting from the wound. The two of them were soaked to the skin, so the teen didn't bother trying to patch up the now bleeding graze.

Another awkward silence passed between the two of them, as Joshua dabbed at the blood and the rain began to die down. The look on the youngest sibling's face as he battled the tears was endearing to say the least, but Alex didn't say a thing. He was trying to ignore those odd pangs in his chest whenever he met his brother's gaze, or the two of them talked about Elle. It was best to ignore something you did not understand, or so he thought.

"Alex? Can we go home now?". Joshua's voice was barely audible over the rustling of the battered trees, but Alex managed to catch it. Any negative or confusing thoughts were forced right to the back of his tumultuous mind, as he crouched and lifted his brother's box from the ground. With it came inches of mud,dirt and god knows what else, yet that didn't matter.

"Sure we can, Josh."

Once Alex had retrieved his sandal from the liquified ground, he took his brother's hand and led him back home. Neither of them had anything to say after that, but they didn't argue over petty things for a long time.

Perhaps it was Joshua's way of saying 'thank you'.

* * *

I must say, I'm very confused about the age difference here.

I mean, *SPOILER* How long has Joshua been nine? *SPOILER*. If it's a long time, then the age difference isn't too bad, I guess.

...Am I really trying to make incest sound less disturbing? Oh dear.

OS.  
x


	5. Chapter 5

WOAH.

WOAH.

I'm back, and this is terrible in comparison to how I used to write.

Words cannot describe how sorry I am right now.

However, I hope you enjoy this, despite its pure fail.

* * *

It had been an hour at most, but even a complete stranger would have been able to tell that Joshua Shepherd was bored. Toys and battered magazines had been discarded in haphazard piles all over the spacious room, leaving almost no space for Alex to rush through unfinished homework. However, luckily for the eldest child in the room, the incessant chatter had not yet begun.

As predicted by 'that man on the radio' it was yet another wet and cold day in Shepherd's Glen. All the children were cooped up inside, either wallowing in their own self pity or annoying their respective siblings and parents. There were no sounds from the street, except the occasional car and the curses of an adult caught in the rain without their 'damn umbrella'.

"Alex?"

There it was. In a few minutes, Joshua would be bugging him, tugging at his hair and forcing him to join in with some stupid plan that usually involved pain or embarrassment on his part. Alex had grown up a lot, or so he felt, over the past few weeks. The idea of pulling pranks on the neighbours in the pouring rain just didn't hold the same allure as it had before.

"What is it, Josh?" he questioned, not once removing his gaze from the question papers strewn in front of him. He had resorted to sitting cross-legged in the corner like a little kid, as moving Josh's things seemed to be tantamount to sinning or killing a puppy. Unsurprisingly, he didn't fancy facing the grief that came with that.

"I'm bored." Was the almost whiny reply which reached his ears, muffled by the pillow which his brother was now resting his head on. It was difficult not to laugh at that. It was pretty much like the checkout girl at the supermarket saying she hated her job,_ blindingly obvious_.

A month had passed since they had visited the playground together, a place they had not travelled to since. Josh was the type of child who held grudges and bad memories for years on end, much to the chagrin of his older sibling. The whole incident with the bugs had left him weary of that area, but of course, it came out as hatred for his older brother's negligence to help him. Not that Alex minded too much, as he could read the boy like a book.

Well, at least he could most of the time.

Even as he continued to scribble what was probably nonsense onto the pages around him, Alex could feel those large eyes boring right into him. This was his little brother's favourite tactic; it worked on their 'loving' mother like a charm. Nobody in their right mind could resist that childish gaze, Joshua just could not be ignored. Perhaps that was why people had begun to stop acknowledging the teen's presence in the family. Joshua was just the perfect little boy, with all the sweet little mannerisms, while Alex was the awkward child with almost no self-confidence.

There was no competition, which was obvious.

"Do something then, and shut up." That reply was sure to irritate the other, but Alex was no longer in the mood to please him. Too many things were running through his head, including the events that had taken place after dinner months before. One wrong move got him in trouble, and yet Joshua was allowed to waltz around the house like it was nobody's business. Although, it wasn't too bad a response, as they were brothers after all. They weren't meant to get along well, even if the elder of the two wanted them to be closer.

The slamming noise which followed nearly made Alex jump out of his skin, forcing the pen to fall from between his long fingers. It was almost unbelievable how quickly the tiny brunet could move which somebody struck a nerve. He was already stood over the teen, an odd mix between anger and disapproval forming on his childish features.

"Take me to the lake again."

That was not a request, the almost-anorexic boy was giving him an order. The mass of water was not too far from their house, but they had been banned from even talking about it in front of their parents. Apparently it was a dangerous place. There were dozens of feeble reasons why; Joshua wasn't a strong enough swimmer, Alex still wasn't responsible enough, there could even be a problem with the boat.

All of them had been ignored before, resulting in the two of them running down the street, the older boy pulling Joshua around a corner as the porch light was slammed on. Nobody had ever caught them sneaking about at night, but it was always too close for comfort. It had been practically impossible trying to explain why Josh's Robbie doll had been found ten metres down the street, when the two of them had supposedly been sleeping soundly in their room. Yet, somehow, they had managed it.

"Josh, it's raining. Wait until tomorrow."

There was a storm brewing, that was for sure, and Alex knew that his parents would give him hell if Josh returned with so much as a slight tickle at the back of his throat. Trying to avoid the reaction that he knew was coming, Alex shifted slightly bringing the papers closer to him, pretending to think deeply about the problem scrawled across the page. As he expected deep down, that most definitely did not work on the defiant little boy that he called his brother.

"Alex, please. You know you want to." the other half-pleaded, crouching before the teen, pushing the sheets out of the way nonchalantly.

Nothing could have prepared Alex for the feeling that suddenly welled up inside him. The mixture of the soft, whining voice and teenage hormones nearly pushed him over the edge. Against his will, he felt his cheeks heating up as he tried desperately to hold the young boy's gaze.

It was sick and wrong, but the near-adult felt his eye line moving down to Joshua's open legs, along his thigh, his heaving chest, anywhere but those huge orbs of eyes. As if, somehow, that made this all less disturbing. He chewed his lip absent-mindedly before looking away, his thoughts being replaced by ones which should have repulsed him.

Yet they didn't.

"Alex?"

The brunet found that he had nothing to say.

* * *

I'm sick, okay...but, at least you guys are sick for reading this too. Haha.

OS.  
x


End file.
